Driving in the Right-Hand Lane

Several weeks ago I was in a meeting where we were discussing the January worship series for our church, of which one of the weeks will be focused on slowing down in a hurry up world. We talked about the pace in which we live our lives, always seeming to be in a hurry, especially around the holidays. The focus of our culture seems to be on quantity rather than quality...how much can we do? How many friends do we have on facebook? How many activities are we involved in? How many projects can we juggle at work? People always tell me that life goes by so fast, especially in regards to parenting children, and we often express remorse about that fact. I wonder if there are things we can do in order to change the pace in which we live our lives?

At this meeting, we brainstormed some of the ways we might allow the congregation to engage and experience that concept as well as some strategies people could take home. One idea lifted up was to drive in the right hand lane. A simple, yet powerful concept. One at which I initially scoffed at as I am a left hand lane driver through & through (I unfortunately have several points on my driving record as proof). However, the more I thought about it, the more I thought I’d try it out for the month of December. At first it was difficult, but then my paradigm changed and I began to value the feeling of not being rushed. I was amazed at how much stress I was carrying around just by driving in a hurry. It was quite freeing to tell you the truth. Now, I do occasionally still use the left hand lane, but not very frequently.

The amazing thing is that I have noticed that my right-hand lane mentality has crossed over into other areas of my life...slowing down to take advantage of the moment. I don’t try to hurry through things as much. Of course I still have a ways to go as I work and live in a fast-paced culture, but I can still stay with the flow of traffic while in the right hand lane. Hopefully you might take an opportunity to drive in the right hand lane some this Christmas, if only to just see what it’s like...

The Climb

This past summer, I spent a little time comparing life’s challenges with the sport of mountaineering, specifically in a couple of posts titled When Life Seems Like Mt. Everest. I have been planning to finish that series with a post focusing on how it is typically the journey a person experiences, rather than the destination, that is most important. However, I’m not certain that is completely true. I am at a point now where I see that both the journey, as well as our destination plays a vital role in our ability to successfully handle the challenges we come across in life.

First lets look at the journey we take. If we are not required to put in the due diligence of taking one step at a time, navigating the obstacles, feeling the burning fatigue in our muscles, and even managing the fear of the unknown…then most likely we will not appreciate the summit as much had we, in fact, endured those struggles. The sights, the smells, the details are all drawn out in an intimately vivid way from knowing what it took to be there. The journey gives us perspective, helps us appreciate where we have come, and even helps us gain a respect for those who have also made the same trek. A friend of mine who is an avid mountaineer, eloquently said this about the journey: “Climbing is a spiritual journey. One strives, suffers, hurts and often fails. It is the journey that teaches us what we are meant to know. The rewards are great to those who face the challenge yet realize that success lies in living to climb again. Some new land, some novel route and sometimes with new partners. On Belay!” It all boils down to the fact that the summit experience is not complete without having endured the entire journey.

However, I feel we often reduce the role that the destination plays as practically insignificant, which I feel is unwise. The destination is often the source of our motivation, which has a very direct impact on our performance, our drive, and our desire to get through the difficulties of the journey. My desire to reach the summit gets me through all the crap I have to endure. When my body is screaming at me to stop, when I feel as though I cannot continue and I want to give up and turn around, I refuse to listen because there is something greater than me that is calling out my name. This is the power of the destination, and it really does matter what that destination is.

There seems to be a direct correlation of the importance we assign to our destination to the level of suffering we are willing to endure in order to reach it. It is quite obvious when someone is fully committed, or should I say devoted, to their destination, their summit, their purpose, their mission, whatever you want to call it. The level of focus, the drive, the determination, and the willingness to continue on no matter how difficult, all play a vital role in their ability to reach the summit. Unfortunately, I would say that the converse is also true. The person who is indifferent about their destination will never willingly endure the struggles required to reach the summit. They will be forever limited to mediocrity, as it is often the case that the most spectacular sights are indeed the hardest to reach. Those summits reveal their beauty only to the most dedicated.

So, for me…I realize that everyday I wake up with a choice. A choice to get up, and make the most of what I’ve been given, recognizing that there are going to be days that I just want to sit down on the ground and give up, feeling like there is no way I can continue. But when those days do come, when I feel that my days have all passed and my plans have all been shattered, I reach down deep and am reminded of my ultimate destination and that the desires of my heart are in fact turning night into day, and while in the face of darkness, light is most definitely near.

Picture by Dave Pullin

When Life Seems Like Mt. Everest...(part 2)

Route Planning
Once you have selected your Expedition Team, you must next determine your route up the mountain, which can either lead you toward great success or tragic failure.

Being in the lead position of a rope team on a glacier can be quite stressful. You not only set the pace for the team, but you also have to exercise extremely good judgment with every step, seeing as one of the primary threats in regards to glacier travel is falling into a crevasse (huge cracks in the ice). So in order to minimize risk, there are several things mountaineers make certain they do.

Gather Beta
Many rock climbers take pride in a successful on-sight climb (leading a climb, on your first try, without any hints – beta). However, glacier mountaineering is a little different. You willingly accept any beta you can acquire: possible routes, route condition, accumulated snowfall, avalanche probability, difficulty, weather forecast, etc. If the particular mountain and route you are interested in has already been done, then you want to learn from that experience. Of course you want to thoroughly vet the beta you receive, as it might be outdated, or even incorrect.

Campsite Selection
Determining where you will camp is not so much about where you will place the tent, rather it is more about your ability to accurately discern how far the team will be able to travel in a given day, allowing for a certain margin of error. This, seemingly simple task, is actually one of the more difficult skills to master in all of outdoor travel. Consideration must be made for pack weight (which changes as food is eaten), accessibility to water, climber ability/fatigue, weather, exposure, acclimation, as well as many others. Pushing the team too hard will likely result with exhaustion or even injury. Not challenging the team's ability will result in boredom, frustration, maybe even desertion.

Cutting Steps
Contrary to popular opinion, traveling on ice can be extremely difficult. Imagine walking down your driveway after an ice storm and you get the picture. Due to this, there are times you must cut steps into the ice, which can be a tedious and exhausting process. Using the adz of an ice ax (the flat, wide end), the person in the lead swings the ax and literally cuts each step into the ice. Care must be made that the distance between steps is just right. Cut steps too far apart and it may cause someone to fall. Cut steps too close together, and precious time & energy are wasted. The interesting thing is, that as each team member uses a single step, it becomes well defined, making it easier for the person after to use the step.

You are probably ahead of me in terms of relating this to our everyday, but when you feel like you are in the dregs of life, the motivation to develop a ‘route plan’ is likely not there, but it doesn't have to be anything formal. Talk to others who have been where you are, determine what your first milestone will be. Give yourself something to focus on and allow yourself a little reward when you get there. Finally, pay attention to the steps you are cutting, pausing to remember to look up to ensure you are still on the right path. The steps we cut in our personal lives will most likely include the difficult (and sometimes horrifying) work of introspection and self-awareness. It is labor-intensive, but required, and most definitely worth it. This is the hard part of life, but it is also where we grow and recognize we may actually be stronger than we once thought we were.

Photo by Dave Pullin: NOLS Outdoor Educator Course '99: Glacier Peak Wilderness, WA.

When life seems like Mt. Everest… (pt. 1)

Expedition Team
Many often speculate at a climber’s motivation to summit a 29,029' mountain. I imagine one reason may be that deep inside each climber looms something so massive, so daunting, that they assign a physical challenge with it. And then, when they are able to face the physical challenge and journey to the top, they reason that they may be able to overcome the internal struggle as well.

Just as each mountain is different, so are there all types of internal struggles. They vary in form, be it addiction, self-esteem, abuse, pride, depression, sin, betrayal, [list your struggle here], but we all have them. It is part of human nature. And although I doubt you have the desire to take up mountaineering, I feel there is a great deal we can learn from those who accept a certain amount of risk in their lives in order to climb these spectacular summits.

When you find yourself in the shadow of one of these mammoths (voluntarily or not), one of the first things to do is figure out who you want on your expedition team. Who is going to climb this mountain with you? This is where you take stock of the tools and skills you have, as well as the ones you are missing. Then identify those around you who can fill any voids. On the mountain you will need a team leader, a lead climber, a cook, a medic, and navigator, communications, sherpas, transportation, etc. What are the tools and skills you need to make it through your internal struggle? Will you need a confidant, a therapist, childcare, a children’s therapist, a pastor, a cooked meal, a best friend, a support group, a mowed lawn, an exercise buddy, accountability?

Surrounding yourself with a small group of people who will be walking alongside of you, whom you trust, who will help you in your time of need, who will be there to pick you up when you fall, who will call you out when you are wrong, who will help you laugh when you need it most, who will tell you the truth in love, and who truly care for you is critical. They will never be able to climb the mountain for you, but they will be there with you every step of the way.

Spend some time thinking about what your needs are, then realize it is okay to ask for help. We aren't supposed to do this in isolation. We were created to be in community, so why is it we always feel like we have to go through these personal crises alone? If you don’t have your team assembled, then start making the calls. I know who my expedition team is…do you?

Photo: NOLS Outdoor Educator Course '99: Glacier Peak Wilderness, WA. That's me in the lead of the rope team.

Gettin' busy...

There is a movie that I love, maybe you have seen it - The Shawshank Redemption. It is the story of Andy, a man who is falsely convicted of murder and sent to prison where he is punished due to no fault of his own. There he becomes friends with a man named Red, who has been in prison for many years and is seasoned in the ways of incarceration and knows how to work the system.

The interesting thing is at first, Red takes on the role of mentor to Andy, teaching him the ways of the prison, how to survive, who to avoid, how to surrender to the inevitable that this is now the only existence that Andy will ever know. Red not only teaches, but encourages Andy to become institutionalized, to let go of any illusions of hope and to accept the reality that they have no control over their lives anymore.

Yet as their friendship grows, it is Red who then becomes the student, as he begins to see in Andy a strength that will not be beaten down or forfeited, not to the warden, not to the other inmates, nor to the institution itself. But no matter how hard Andy tries to convince Red that hope does, in fact, remain - and that is the one thing the institution can never take away - Red does not seem to understand, which leads us to this scene:



(Spoiler Alert)
Red feared that Andy exercised the one and only thing he could control...and that was how to end his life. That was the only option Red could fathom. Red was not able to see beyond his delusions, beyond the false reality he had built in order to protect himself from being vulnerable in fear of being hurt yet again.

But as it turns out, Andy was able to escape from the prison, from all the things that held him captive, because he had a hope that could not be taken away. And by doing that, by Andy breaking through all of that bondage, he provided the catalyst for Red to experience an awakening. Maybe what Red thought what was true was, in fact, mere deception. Maybe there is something beyond these walls of imprisonment. Maybe, just maybe, there is a thing called hope. Red eventually gets released, and is faced with a choice...to get busy living, or get busy dying.



Now, I ask myself...which one of these men am I? Am I going to be like Red, allowing my circumstances to construct a wall around me so that any ounce of hope or feeling I may have is slowly extinguished with each piece of brick and each spade of mortar? Do I desire to merely survive? Or - am I going to be like Andy, who does not let his circumstances beat him, who continues to feel and live - even at the risk of being hurt again? Now Red does eventually choose to live, but how much did he sacrifice? Am I willing to sacrifice as much as he did, or am I willing to risk again? Am I going to get busy living, or get busy dying (in an emotional, spiritual way...not a physical, literal way)?

There are times that I probably would have chosen the latter, but today....right now....I am confident that there is hope, and that hope is indeed a very good thing. And I am confident that it will never die. I choose to live.

I will never forget...

...what happened at 9:02 am on Wednesday, April 19th, 1995.

I was a freshman at the University of Oklahoma, walking to my morning class when I heard what sounded like a sonic boom off in the distance...towards the city. At the time - I thought nothing of it and very few folks had cell phones then, so it wasn't until after class that I started hearing rumors that there had been an explosion in Oklahoma City.

I walked through the doors of the Wesley Foundation (campus ministry) to see a crowd of people standing around the TV. No one was talking. Everyone just stood there in disbelief as we watched the news coverage unveil the unfathomable. A bomb had just been detonated at the Federal building in downtown OKC. I was in shock.

Someone asked me what my blood type was. "O-positive" I replied. "You need to go give blood at the Chi Omega house." They said. "They're calling for anyone with type O blood." So we walked to the sorority house and found over 300 students waiting around for their number to be called so they could give blood. There was a low murmur, but everyone seemed to be in their own world as we each tried to process what was happening.

The news stations called for donations of bottled water, hard hats, work boots, knee pads, etc. The organization Feed The Children was organizing the collections and donations, so many of us from Wesley went to their warehouse that afternoon to help sort, organize, pack, and load boxes into semi-trailers headed to ground zero.

As the rescue efforts continued, more and more bodies were discovered and there quickly became a large need for pastors & chaplains to assist on site. The pastor of the Wesley foundation - Brad - was one of the pastors called to assist. He was put on the 8pm-8am shift. I'm not certain exactly how it happened, but myself & a couple of other students managed to get FBI clearance and were assigned to the ground zero command post (which was located in a parking garage) during the same shift as brad. We (the students) primarily assisted by being gophers for whoever needed anything. If an emergency worker needed something, they'd come to us. We'd then go to the Feed The Children tent which looked like a Wal-Mart by the amount of stuff that had been donated. Bandages, flashlights, duct tape, gloves, blankets, anything anyone needed, we would get it for them....well, anything except answers.

I will never forget the first night I went to ground zero. When I saw with my own eyes what had been all over the news. It was dark. There were armed military personnel everywhere. But the thing I remember the most was the smell. It was a smell that was foreign to me. I don't think I have the words to describe it, but I just knew that it was the smell of death.

There wasn't a lot of noise during the night hours. It seemed eerily quiet. This was when the gravity of what was happening would weigh heaviest. Emergency workers would come into the command center and sit down at a table. You could just see their shoulders slump as if in defeat, constantly being robbed of any type of hope when they thought they might have found a survivor, but then quickly realizing that instead of going to the triage tent, they would have to take the dreaded, more common route, which led to the morgue.

They all showed the signs. FBI, ATF, Police, Fire, EMT. They were all tired and possibly suffering from depression. I can't imagine the pain they felt. You see pictures like the one below and you begin to wonder how any human being could make themselves function amidst such an act of violence.

But something amazing started to happen. Even though we were all in shock and experiencing varied levels of pain and depression, something started to happen that would begin to pull our city, our state, and even our country together. The mail started to arrive. Hundreds and thousands of letters started to arrive, simply addressed: Oklahoma City Emergency Workers. Thats it. No address or zip code. They came by the truck load from people all around the country. The most came from children in elementary schools drawing encouraging notes for the workers. But many others came from random people writing long notes of encouragement to anyone who would read it. Some even contained checks and cash for the rescue effort. There was so much mail that it had to be divided among many different places to be able to sort through it. Some went to the television networks, some went to the hospitals, some went to the local churches, and a lot of it came to the command center.

So during the midnight hours of the days following, we would open mail, sort it, and then we would take the letters from the children and hand them out to the workers. We would walk from security checkpoint to checkpoint, handing out these hand-drawn pictures & letters to tired and weary women & men who at first had a very hardened look & demeanor. But as soon as we gave them some of those letters, we would see the despair start to fade away and would sometimes get a glimmer of the hope that would remain.

It did, you know...remain. There is a survivor that continues to stand up for the fact that even amidst this horrific act of terrorism, this city, this state, and this country came together as one community. We looked past our differences and instead of allowing this act to divide us, it actually ended up uniting us in a very real way. And this survivor stands for the hope that we all have in humanity, that there is good in the world that has not been silenced, that in each of us there is the ability to put others' needs before our own, and that the capacity for love can be found in all of us. The survivor I mention is a tree, an Elm tree, that showed the amazing resilience and strength to endure. This tree will not forget what happened. It will always bear the marks from its' wounds of that day 13 years ago. But still it stands...and so will we.

May we never forget, that on this day we saw our country come together....not necessarily as Americans, but more so as a people who refused to allow hatred to have the last word. Here I saw first-hand how love truly is stronger than death, and this, I will never ever forget.

Consumption

This past year I have really been thinking a lot about our current level of consumption as a society and as a species. I began by reading Affluenza, a somewhat humorous, yet accurate, observation of the impacts of our affluent lifestyles on culture and the environment. I highly recommend you check it out from your local library.

I look at our world, well - i should say specifically our country - and I see how much marketing and advertising we are exposed to. We are bombarded with people telling us what to do & what to value. And we believe them. At least I do. When the iPhone ads came out - I was hooked. And guess what, when the phone I was currently using broke last October, guess what I did. That's right...I bought an iPhone. Did I really need it - no. Did I allow slick marketing to influence how I determined what was valuable and important to me?

Yep.

The environment is another interesting topic that has a lot to do with consumptions levels. (Here's an interesting 20 min video about consumption. It is a bit biased, but still interesting.) Now really - no matter where you are politically, we must admit that our current levels of consumption are not healthy for the environment. I am not convinced that the human race is directly causing climate change, but when I look at the effects of what we are doing, I get sick to my stomach. But do I still continue to consume at an unprecedented rate? Do I let convenience and low prices influence how I spend my money?

Yep.

I watched some of the presidential debates last night that I had recorded. One of the topics was health care. One of the candidates responded that we do not have a health care crisis, we have a health crisis. Americans consume way more food than we should, and yet we do not exercise or adopt healthy lifestyles. This pattern has been a primary contributor to a tremendous increase in diabetes, heart disease, and a significant number of other ailments. So what do we do? Well - do I turn to the medical professionals for treatment instead of prevention? Am I shocked by how much the treatment costs? Do I look to our government to find a solution for more affordable health care instead of considering my health as my responsibility?

Yep.


Am I proud that this is who I am?
Do I continue to believe that this what it means to be a Christian in today's world?
Will I just sit back and consider it someone else's responsibility?

Not any more.

I have a voice, and so do you.
I am more than a demographic, and so are you.
I am going to be the change that I desire in the world, and hopefully you will too.

Seeing gray in a world of black & white

Our senior pastor, Adam Hamilton, is starting a new sermon series on January 6th titled Seeing Gray...which will look at a variety of issues, particularly in regards to the upcoming election. Here's a video promo...looks to be quite intriguing and informative. And I just want to say that it is great being part of a community that is not afraid to talk about these issues. We may not all come down on the same side of each issue, and that's okay....I'm just glad we're talking about them!

Christmas at Resurrection

Every year, our church has its annual christmas musical, which took place last week, amidst wintry mix, which is really a nice way of saying it's really cold and ice pellets are falling from the sky. Any way - the production went very well. I'll post some pics soon. Although large productions like that are fun and exhilarating, it's always nice to have that sigh of relief when it's over. Now I can resume my life as it was and catch up on things that got pushed aside....such as blogging.

ciao

When belief systems fail

Kem Meyer has a great post on belief systems and what happens when they fail. Makes me think about what my assumed belief systems are, how I define myself, and whether or not my actions show that I believe what I say I believe.

what's right with the world

as i mentioned earlier, the theme for the willow arts conference is 'what's right with the world'. As always, willow delivers by bringing out new & exhilarating ways to integrate faith, art and culture in a corporate worship setting. I will do my best to relay some of my experiences and learnings here, but I also suggest you check out their online experience which is a blog with video clips from the main sessions, backstage interviews, pics, etc. Here's a pretty good pic of the crowd...pretty sweet stage design.

a broken hallelujah

several weeks ago, our church offered the use of its facility & resources to host the visitation & funeral of an 18 year old girl who was tragically kidnapped and murdered. The entire metro area was in shock. As we planned the logistics and supported the services, I had to compartmentalize all of the feelings and emotions I was experiencing so they wouldn't interfere with my responsibilities. I guess I didn't fully realize how much emotion was bottling up.

late that night, following the funeral, I boarded a plane along with 2 others from our media team to go to the willow creek arts conference which started early the next morning. The theme of the conference was 'whats right with the world'. Suffice it to say that I could tell you a lot about what was wrong with the world at that particular moment in time. They did give us these wristbands that contained a 128mb flash drive in them which was a clever idea. I was intrigued.


one of the sessions that day was given by Nancy Beach titled 'the audacity of hope' which was borrowed from Obama's book. The premise was that as worship leaders, musician's, artists, and people in ministry that there are times that we are broken or experiencing grief and pain and to be able to step on stage and be an inspiration of hope to others is not only difficult, but rather audacious. Nancy continued, though, that she feels we should not try to mask those feelings by pretending the pain is not there, but rather authentically offer up a broken hallelujah, a praise to God amidst our pain. This definitely struck a chord.

So, as I was sitting there, absorbing these ideas of what is right with the world alongside the concept of a broken hallelujah, Aaron Neiquist (worship leader at Mars Hill) led us in a song he wrote entitled 'enchanted'. Here are the lyrics from the chorus:

this world is enchanted
lean closer to see it
this world in enchanted
dare to breathe it in

As we sang those words, all of that emotion that I had bottled up earlier in the week began to find an outlet. But it wasn't until they began singing 'this is my father's world' that it really hit me. This verse in particular:

this is my Father's world
o let me ne'er forget
that tho the wrong seems oft' so strong
God is the ruler yet

as i sang these words I thought of many things, but primarily of the young girl who will not see a 19th birthday. I thought of my own daughter who will turn 4 years old this July. It was then I felt a tear roll down my cheek as i offered up my own broken hallelujah.

local coffee

The coffee house i usually visit (usually meaning once every few months) went bankrupt and a new owner has come in to take on the challenge. Maybe it was because I am the typical 'regular' and that just isn't enough to turn a profit. hopefully this one will stay afloat...they have comfortable chairs and free wifi.