Every so often, life seems to find a way to bring things sharply into perspective, to take our attention off of the insignificant and refocus it on what is truly important. Such was the case for me last night when I watched as a man’s life was taken from him.
It was a typical Friday night as a friend and I stopped to get gas on our way to a local outdoor festival. It was just before sunset when we pulled into the gas station, admittedly in a part of town I don’t care to be in after dark. The store was busy, lots of people coming and going. We noticed a man in his twenties, likely under the influence crossing the street and coming over to the gas station. I remember noticing that his pants were so low that they were around his ankles. Literally.
He made his way onto the store property and was immediately met by another man (later discovered as the attendant) and heated words were exchanged. I thought nothing of it as I saw both men walk into the store. I finish what I came for and begin to drive off but had to wait for the car in front of me to exit before I could leave. It is at that point I hear two gunshots and I look to see the attendant with a gun pointed at the other man mentioned above, however, the second man is now lying on the ground having been shot twice in the chest.
All of a sudden I am met with a flood of thoughts- do I get out to help? Do I plow through this car in front of me to get as far away from here as possible? Why is he shooting? Was it a robbery or just cold blood? My friend is strongly suggesting we leave, and quickly at that, so I pull out my phone and dial 911 as the car in front moves and I make my way to the street. My friend gathers the description of the suspect as well as attempts to determine the condition of the victim. I pull away from the gas station and into a nearby parking lot to relay all the information to the dispatcher. We stay in the area until the police arrive on the scene and then there is nothing left for us to do, well, nothing but sit in shock. We find out later that the man was taken to the hospital where he passed away.
That entire night and even all through today I find myself replaying those events over and over in my mind. Evaluating my reaction, scrutinizing my actions, trying to decide if I did everything I could have done. I sit and ponder about this man whose life was snatched from him. I think about how easily a life is taken and about how little our culture seems to regard human life. Then I think about all the little insignificant things I’ve been worried about and they all seem to fall away.
I am left with this question – What does it really mean to value life? And by that I mean what am I wiling to risk in order to protect another’s life? There are some lives I would risk more than others…for example, if my daughter or best friend were threatened, I would risk significantly more than I would for a stranger. But this man, whom I watched die, was likely inebriated or on drugs, has likely caused multiple disturbances at this store before, but did he really deserve to die at the hand of another? It’s hard for me to say that he did. It’s also hard for me to say I did everything I could have to help. And tomorrow I’ll likely end up picking up all those little things I dropped that don’t really matter anyway. Has this really changed me, or is the pull of the insignificant, the mundane, the routine just too strong? I hope not.
